Open letter from your introverted girlfriend (or boyfriend)

Hi, it’s me. You introverted girlfriend.

She who used to want to be with you night and day when we first fell in love, but now would rather spend her weekend home alone playing video games and eating pizza while maybe chatting with you on Skype if you’re lucky.

She who will avoid eye contact with you for an entire day, and then suddenly jump into your arms and shower you with kisses like nothing happened.

She who asks you what your plans for the weekend are, and can barely hide her excitement when you say you’ll have to go away on a boring business trip.

She who whispers that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you, but gets all quiet when you mention moving in together.

I have a few confessions to make

Remember that time you showed up at my door because you wanted to be romantic and surprise me?
I pretended not to be home because I was un-showered, wearing my ugly at-home-clothes and, quite frankly, in the middle of something really important, (like watching the season finale of my favorite show and crying like a baby). 

Also, I don’t like surprises.

And that time when we had a really romantic evening and fell asleep in each others arms I sneaked home in the middle of the night like some one-night-stand.

It was not something you did. I just wanted to sleep in my own bed and have my own breakfast cereal in the morning. 

I am a creature of habit.

And that time when you were home sick for over a week and instead of cooking you soup and sitting by your bedside, I locked myself in another room.

I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to see how unpleasant I become when I don’t get time to myself. I didn’t want you to feel unwanted.

I know my behavior confuses and sometimes hurts you. I know I can act like a split-personality maniac. I know you sometimes question if I really love you as much as I say. 

The truth is, I do love you. I do want to spend my life with you. I just don’t want to spend every waking hour with you.  

Let me explain why

When I pull away from you, it has nothing to do with you and it doesn’t mean I love you any less. 

I am an introvert. If I don’t take time to myself, I lose myself. 

If I don’t take care of my own needs, I can’t take care of yours.

If I don’t give myself affection, I’ll have none to give to you. 

When I ask for time alone, it is because I love you. It is so that I can be the best partner I can be for you. 

So, dear love of my life:

If you truly love me, don’t try to change my introverted nature. (I’ve tried many times myself and I can assure you, it’s impossible.)

If you enjoy my company, don’t overindulge in it. (It has a cooldown period.)

If you want to be with me always, don’t hold me too tightly. (I’ll slip through your fingers.)

Give me space, and I’ll gravitate towards you. 

Give me time alone, and I’ll crave your company.

Love me for who I am, and I’ll give you everything I have.

I am amazing company. Trust me, I should know. ;)


With love

/ Your introverted girlfriend (or boyfriend)


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