Last Sunday, I made my upcoming book project official. I gave it a name, outlined its contents and put up a page for it on the site. I told my Secret Club friends about it in an email. Pre-orders started coming in. Some with the most loving, heartfelt comments that made me cry tears of joy.
Then I looked at my calendar and freaked out. I’ve dreamt of writing a book all my life. But it has somehow always been this fog shrouded goal in the distant future. Now, all of a sudden, things got real. There is a deadline. I am accountable.
This feels terrifying. In a wonderful, tingling, butterflies-in-stomach, kind of way.
I will work harder than I ever have these coming weeks and I’m going to love every second of it. This is a job I chose for myself.
And (not so) coincidentally enough, this is what the book I’m writing is all about. Creating your own career. Not asking for permission. Not waiting for the clouds to part and some higher power anointing you with the strength and confidence you need to pursue your dreams. But simply going after them. Creating your own opportunities. Putting in the work. Being vulnerable.
I doubted myself and my dreams for so many years. I read all the advice I could find from people I looked up to. People who’s lives I desperately wanted. But I always asked myself “Is it worth it? Is it doable? Could it really be that easy?”
The simple truth about pursuing your dreams
The truth is: It’s not easy. It’s hard work. But doing nothing is hard work too. Working a job you’re miserable in, living a life that doesn’t resonate with who you are - that’s extremely hard. Compared to that, pursuing your dream is easy.
Is it doable? Well, the only way to ever find out is to do it. There is no other way.
The only difference between myself at that time and the people who had my dream career was that they were simply doing it. I was dreaming about it.
When I started this blog in May 2016, I went from dreaming to doing. I was still the same insecure, doubtful and overly perfectionist person that I’d been all the years before. But my desire overcame my fears. I simply had to act.
When I pre-launched my book this Sunday, I took the next scary step towards my dream. I am still insecure, doubtful, terrified and struggling with perfectionism. But I’ve come to realize: this is the way it’s supposed to be. This is what’s exciting about it. This is how you grow. This is the feeling of manifesting your dreams.
So, is it worth it?
Yes, yes, yes.
Despite the hard work and the “failures”. Despite all the nights I lie awake with anxiety and stress. Despite not being exactly where I want to be yet. Despite being terrified on a weekly, (sometimes daily) basis.
When someone pre-orders your book with the words “I love you”. Then it’s all worth it.
I wouldn’t trade this for anything. And I want nothing more in this world than for others like me to experience that same feeling.
Now if you excuse me, I have a book to write. ;)
Want more inspiration?
Every Sunday, I write a love letter to my Secret Club of fellow sensitives. The emails contain personal stories, peptalks, tips and resources that inspire and empower you as a sensitive, introverted creative. Wanna join us?